toast.jelly

photo essay: I don't always have much of a social life (and that's just fine with me)

2009-05-25T20:37:00.000-07:00

subtitle: some wierd shit I found on my phone.

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(unix)

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(hi)

why?? why not?

Ur shouldn't have counted

i'm rich!

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(plant life)

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(a lovely stroll)

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(video games rot your brain)

FORT!

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(dark! brooding!)

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(blur!)

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(hey)

SHH!

BSG

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(inter dimensional shift)

warp speed!

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fuck windows

THE ENTRIES ARE IN!

2007-05-25T14:14:00.001-07:00

Please e-mail me your choice
(identify by the bold-type title below each entry)

edit: MISSED ONE
ALIEN - fucking outerspace zombies!
Always clawing at your throat and turning
you into a crazed mouthless drone.

GLITTER! - I think I would have to buy a matching
hand-bag and dog.

EN GARDE! - I'll smoke rolled cigarettes and look
down on all of you for not being french.

POIROT - I wouldn't mind this one too much.
Like most hats, that bowler doesn't fit too well,
but if anyone said anything I'd just pull
out my pepperbox and scramble their brains.

CURL! - I can see it now.
Walking the earth.
Having adventures. Going places.
Shooting people.

BRAINS! - jslllllll eaat.

DORK OF FRANKENSTEIN! - that's what 12,000
volts will do to you.

BOZO THE MASOCHIST

MUTANT MERMAN

YEA. THAT'S A SHIT BEARD. - I have
some fucked up friends.

I EXIST IN THE FIFTH DIMENSION - !*&^#* $*#
&&#*@(((!)#

RASTA - indeed. why not?

I'm sorry guys, I just had a bit

of a yarn accident. I'm better now.

The original - nah, only suckers would vote for this one.

BALD! - without ears! nobody wants to see

that walking down the street.

REDESIGN MY FUCKING FACE

2007-04-22T12:01:00.000-07:00

BOY! It's been a WHILE!

Time flies in Valhalla. I didn't want to leave, but you know me. I couldn't let my faithful readers down just to bash giant skulls and drink mead.

Anyway, talking to Loki the other day gave me an amusing idea for a contest. (I drop names, get used to it) As the wizard of lies stole sif's hair, only to replace it with gold made by the dwarves, I have sheared my head (virtually) and commission you dwarves to replace it. It's Magnadoodle™ and Barbie™ magic hair styler, all rolled into one!

After I've collected all the entries, I'll post them and figure out some way or another for everyone to vote. The winner gets the chance to have his or her dreams come true!*

BLANK CANVAS

NORMAL - (note: changes to facial hair only to be considered considerably less risky and more likely to happen)

my nephew has already submitted his (somewhat cleaned up) version

all entries can be sent to justinchatbot ( at (diebotdie)) g mail . com

Disclaimer: "dreams" in this document refers to the winner's hair-style concept, and is limited to this definition only. Entity hereafter refered to as "justin" does not grant wishes or summon demons to fulfill your perverted fantasies. You really shouldn't think of your mother that way. "justin" retains the right to veto any excessively silly ideas or at whim pretend like this contest never happened. "justin" is not responsible for any consequences of any of his actions, ad infinitum, e pluribus unum. "justin" is not responsible for any injuries incurred due to excessive mouse manipulation or photoshopping. All rights reserved. W.A.C. see store for details.

winning? really?

2007-04-03T21:11:00.000-07:00

I just had sex with a viking

2007-04-02T19:30:00.000-07:00